This next edition is dedicated to the most gorgeous gals in Butte, Montana, my amazing Grandmother Elizabeth Parker and her friends Winkie and Georgiana.

Thursday 12 January 2012

Arrival of the Fittest





Emotions run high as we leave with our 4 suitcases for one year!

Save the Best for First
Hello and welcome back to another year of discovery for the Beth, Brian, Emma and Bonnie clan! I am so excited to start the totally uncensored stories of our journeys for all who dare and care to read them! But I must start by saying that the best thing from our last trip away to Bristol was the first thing to start our new journey...and that is our five hour meeting in London with our sweet and dearly missed friends, Nick and Andrea Barnes and their daughters Jessie and Esther. For those of you who don't know them, the Barnes crew become our happy 'other half' in England. We followed them around like lost pups with happy wagging tails. As it turned out, we had a 10 hour layover in London and ever so splendidly, the Barnes family turned up for a tube ride into Knightsbridge, a wee walkabout and a dinner. I must say that it was incredibly odd to be having dinner in London, on a rainy night, for 3 hours with our sweet sweet friends that we haven't seen in 2 years, and then to get back on the tube and say goodbye, just like an ordinary day. It was an auspicious meeting, one of complete and utter sinking in happiness, even through the jet lagged eyes. We love you Barnes family!!
One funny note about this outing was that as we
were running from awning to awning to avoid the rain, we stopped under the Christie's Auction House. I looked into the window and saw something that stopped conversation. I screamed up to Emma who was gallavanting away with Esther and Jessie. At this point, I must intervene to tell you why this was such an important find. Emma is a bulldog aficionado, a girl with a bulldog fetish like you've never seen. She developed this over the years since we've been in Bristol, and even chose 'The Ulitmate Guide to Bulldogs' for her one choice to upload onto my Kobo. Emma told me that bulldogs didn't always look like they do know. In fact, they have been so overbred that they have many health problems. But, the first bulldogs in England were much healthier, sturdier and capable of a good fighting spirit. So, there in the window was the ultimate prize. An early 20th century taxidermied full grown bulldog. Of course there would be no purchasing this canine as his bottom price before auction was 6 000 British pounds. That's alot o' quid and seriously, who is going to pack that monster around Vietnam?

The trip from London to Bangkok was a snoozy one. The flight attendants gave me the first hint at how subtle the differences in each culture could be. 'Would you like Fresh Meeeilk in your coffee?' Um, yes, I do prefer fresh milk over anything that would not be of course. But coffee in Eastern Asia countries can be diluted with fresh milk, or EAGLE BRAND consensed syrup milk. When I finally realized that the alternative to fresh milk was this sweet drink, I vastly reformed. We didn't see much of Bangkok, but the airport was filled with fresh flowers, beautiful art and long, long moving sidewalks.

At this point, Edmonton-London-Bangkok, we had been on the run for about 32 hours. So, me and my sleep deprived wacky sense of humour put forth the newest challenge. First one to cry loses. Whoever collapses of weary traveller fatigue first is the loser...I think I did this mostly to push my competitve nature forward as I felt it would be me who would lose this battle. Getting on the plane to Vietnam, I could see that I clearly was not the loser. Sorry to say, but I due to the risk of losing my life, I have to censor who the loser was.

Stepping Out of The Comfort Zone
It was a good thing we were all drugged with jetlag upon arrival in Hanoi, Vietnam. One needs a good dose of 'I don't care what happens next' to face the streets of Hanoi. Let's just say, I now know what it feels like being a minority. First of all, you basically garner the open mouthed gape that famous people attract. We of course, are not famous, only to our pets. But, weirdly, I felt like I was being watched alot. And indeed it was true. Many people openly were sharing the stare. We got used to this pretty quickly and I realized that it wasn't me and Brian who were in the spotlight, but Emma and Bonnie. There seem to be many single Vietnamese young men and they weren't shy about asking to be our sons-in law. Don't worry though. When they saw my expression, they knew they were walking in a dangerous territory.
The first thing I noticed upon arriving in the Hanoi airport was the abundance of police in green uniforms. They didn't seem too overly friendly. And then there was the totally unorganized handing in visas lineup. They were quick to scoop your passports and visas and disappear behind guarded glass. Um, yah, that was a bit disconcerting. I guess the process was to inspect passports, compare to visas, type in all information into a databank and then, over the heads of the 50 or so other confused people, show your really nice passport picture at which point you were to push through the crowds to collect it. We finally made it to our luggage and then into the taxi that was waiting with the driver holding up our names.
Motorbike Mania
Let's talk traffic. Hanoi being a fairly large city of 6 million people definitely has it's fair share of traffic concerns. Mostly everyone, young to older and even oldest, rides a motorbike or scooter. At first glance to a foreigner, it seems like the most chaotic and dangerous situation possible, one I would compare to jumping into a giant tank of hungry piranas.
Our first taxi ride from the Hanoi airport was a seat holding fake braking kind of ride. You know when you press your feet into the car floor, even though you are not driving? Well, my feet had a good workout.
Firstly all that you hear is the constant beeping of bikes, cars, trucks, taxis and buses. It's alarming at first, because at home, a horn means one of two things...I'm going to slam into you or the pleasant #$%* off! On the streets of Vietnamese cities, it means 'watch out--I'm close by' which of course is a constant sound because you cannot extend a pinkie without being close by.
And then there's the weaving in and out of lanes to pass, regardless of who is coming in the other lane. But, then again, some people spend their whole time driving in the other lane in the wrong direction. Or on the sidewalk when the streets are too congested. Strangely, there are virtually no accidents.
Red and green lights are not seen as a definitive rule. They are just a guideline to slow people down and create some more tension. Many drivers go through red lights, in the wrong lane, passing each other and it's all good. I think this is what it must have been like with the arrival of the motorized horse carriage in the early western days.
One of our tourguides said that the rule for driving is this: If it is a rule, break it and make your own rules which could be anything. I generally think that the only way to drive in Vietnam is to have been born there.
Now, add to this recipe for disaster the fact that mostly every motorbike is carrying something other than one passenger. For example, here is a list of commonly transported items that we saw regularly on bikes:
-large amounts of plastic items piled high, such as balls, hangers and containers.
-furniture of all shapes and sizes.
-20-30 quacking ducks.
-two full sized queen mattresses.
-long flag poles.
-fruit and vegetables piled high.
-tightly tied down full grown cows.
-pigs on their way to some unhappy place.
-bags of rice.
-families of 5, including small infants being held between parents (and just to add to the curiousity, only adults wear helmets. Little children do not and are often seen on the handlebars.)
Being in a taxi after a few rides, feels like a safe place. Crossing the street is an entirely different matter. You will see street savvy crossers casually stroll into the middle of the busiest congested roundabout traffic with the confidence of a smooth operator. They have this trick, which we of course, didn't figure out until much later. You have to walk into the street, regardless of head on traffic approaching and then slowly move into the path of the bikes and cars heading for you. We, of course, tried to dodge our way through (and unfortunately, my years of playing dodgeball with grade 5 and 6 did NOT help here). When the seasoned crosser is faced with what I would consider to be a future as roadkill, miraculously, the moving vehicle would move to the left or right, slimly missing you by a pinkie's width. The secret is to get in their way, make a simple stop gesture with your hand and then keep going, but doing this in both directions because, as I stated earlier, lanes don't matter. Once again, there were no accidents nor slim misses. And, on the couple of occasions where one or two of use made it across unscathed and the rest was left abandonned on the other side, a very friendly and helpful resident would cross you.

Hanoi
We arrived in Hanoi at 7 pm on our calendar's New Year's Eve. Our hotel was absolutely stunning and extremely friendly. Upon stumbling in with our year's supply of suitcase, the staff said, please, come and sit and have a refreshing drink. They took us to the sitting area and brought out beautiful tall glasses of curious concotions. Very refreshing indeed. Then we settled into our 2 rooms. In every hotel, we had two rooms. The girls thought this to be very cool as they could do what they wanted without us harping about leaving clothes everywhere. The reason you have 2 rooms is because they do not have rooms for more than two people. The buildings are very tall and skinny and thus, the rooms are too. But, in each room, there was a bathroom with shower, sink, toilet and bum sprayer. Yes, a bum sprayer. Toilet paper is a luxury that we learned early on. Most bathrooms are not equipped with it, so just like you rinse out your sink with the sprayer in the kitchen, you do likewise on your bottom. But, ironically, they supply toothbrushes, toothpaste, combs and soaps. The minibar is also stocked with BA BA BA (333 beer), mineral waters and pop at the mere price of 10 000 Vietnamese dong which translates to about 50 cents. Needless to say, we always emptied our minibars!
In every hotel the staff went way beyond the Canadian accepted minimum of hospitality. We left big tips even though tipping is generally just a small amount of a few dollars.



We totally lucked out having our wonderful guide in Hanoi. The first time we met him, he arrived on his motorbike and parked it in front of the hotel, on the sidewalk along with everyone else. We got into the van and he turned around and said very seriously and in quite good English, 'Hello, my name is Dean, but you can call me Mike." Emma and I could barely breathe through the throes of laughter. I had to explain to him that Dean was also a commonly used English name that we could pronounce, and then he had to explain to me that his name was actually Tien, which was pronounced Dean but due to the 6 different intonations in Vietnamese, people often misprounced it. He often felt embarassed by the English pronounciation as it meant 3 other things. Anyway, after that icebreaker, we knew he was the guide for us! And we did call him Dean.

Dean took us to Halong Bay the first day. It is a 3 hour drive through very rural villages where people obviously live differently than in the city. There are many children wandering around, dogs, chickens and rich green rice fields being plowed by buffalo and usually 3 or 4 people working along side with their bamboo hats on. The main export is rice and only the very rich people can afford any kind of machinery. They work hard.
Another main industry in this area is coal mining and then it is used to create thermal energy to convert to electricity. It's very dusty and the air quality is questionnable. The people wear face masks pretty much all of the time. The first time we saw a person in a face mask we thought immediately that there must be some kind of bird flu around. But, it only takes you to look at the look at the crowd to see that everyone pretty much wears them. You can actually buy them very cheaply in the street in any colour, pattern and shape. We asked Dean if people were wearing them to improve their breathing quality and he said mostly yes. But, the women not so much. Their main purpose for wearing the face mask is to keep their skin fresh and pretty, not that they need to worry because they are all so beautiful! They do not want tans. They want fair skin like us freaky pasty faced foreigners, in fact, you can buy whitening make up.
On our way to Halong Bay, we stopped at a handicraft market. Dean said that it was a main place for tourists to stop as all of the things were handmade crafts from Vietnam. The people at this particular place were special too because they were all disabled.
During the Vietnam war, agent orange was sprayed in order to defoliate and kill plants and crops. I researched this a bit and found out that it's main purpose was to get rid of the foliage to make guerrillas more visible and to destroy crops in rural areas so that the villagers would have to move into the urban places dominated by the U.S.
The destruction from these terrible chemical sprays exists today in the form of children of agent orange. Many are born with physical defects, mental incapacities, and language deficiencies. These are the artisans that created the beautiful works in this market.
We watched the people embroidering stunning pictures of all sizes. Many had visible physical defects, and others just worked quietly away on their pictures.
It was incredibly difficult to choose from the exquisite work that they create. But, I could not leave without purchasing a handsewn picture. I asked Dean how long it took for them to make one and he said between 2 and 6 months depending on the size. Some of the pictures were as large as a wall. I can't begin to explain how beautiful they were. Dean also said that the creators don't receive much money for their efforts, but they get to live in the small rooms surrounding the store and have their needs looked after.
We all finally decided on one picture and then I turned it over and saw that it had been signed with a Vietnamese name, Ni-Ian. I asked the seller if she knew this person because I wanted to meet her. She took me over to a table where there were about 8 people working and walked up to the most beautiful woman. Ni-Ian is a shy, mute woman who is missing bones in her leg. She is about my age.
We finally arrived at Halong Bay. Our driver dropped us off and Dean took us to the dock to get on a boat. First of all, this trip was so inexpensive. So very CHEAP!! I think the whole day was about 9 dollars per person. Remember that.
So, we approach a junk, quite large and board. On the boat were tables set with fine china, drinks displayed, lovely table cloths. That was just the bottom floor. The upper floor had reclining chairs, mature potted trees, flowers, all surrounded by deep dark carved wood.
And, there were many staff attending to us, all perfectly groomed and politeness of a superior kind that I've never experienced in Canada.
I asked Dean where the other passengers were and he said, No, this is a private tour for you, which was organized our travel agent, Mr. Jimmy Nguyen whom I found quite by accident on the Internet.
In anycase, we all sat down to the most interesting and tasty seafood lunch ever! Some of the seafood was a challenge to eat though and we let Dean eat that!
Halong Bay is spotted by thousands of karst islands. They jut out of the water like shards of broken glass lodged in sand. Extremely beautiful and around the islands are floating fish farms and many other small fishing boats. We docked at one island and got out to climb it's side and enter into a HUGE limestone cavern full of stalactites and stalagmites. These structures are sadly not looked after the way we would protect them in North America, but stunning none the less. Then, in the last one, they have made a stage at the bottom of the towering cave where they have full symphony orchestras that play twice a year.
The tour of the islands lasted a few hours, and then we drove back rather sleepily to Hanoi.
Our next day was a shopping, walking around the Old Quarter of Hanoi. We bought quite a few things, converse shoes, trinkets, clothes. One store was rather entertaining because they sold t-shirts with some seriously 'pee you pants' funny sayings. I'm not sure whether or not they translated these from proper Vietnamese proverbs or what, but they didn't always leave you with the sentimental feeling that they were meant to.
Stopping at any street corner, you will find Pho! NOODLES!! Lovely food, and at 1 dollar a bowl, a plastic picnic bench, and a 50 beer, you can do no wrong. The only unnerving thing about it is that you are sitting outside, on the sidewalk, squished in with many other Vietnamese people and there is nothing at all wrong with reaching over to some one else's table to borrow things. And, you have to look away while the boy delivering the soup from the kitchen has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with the ashes just about to drop. Very delicious none the less.
Dean picked us up the third day to head out to Ho Chi Min's Mausoleum, a tour of the grounds, 6 course lunch at a fine French restaurant in the French Quarter, a tour of the first Confuscius University, a traditional water puppet production, a walk to see the giant tortoise, a trip to the natural history museum and a cyclo ride around the old quarter. Feeufff...what an amazing day it was. Oh, yeah, and did I mention that it cost 8 dollars each?
Must, must, MUST tell you about the Mausoleum. I figure all of those police that you don't see on the streets patrolling all of the broken rules are standing in place at the this mausoleum. Dean took our bags and said he'd meet us at the other end in one half hour. We were suddenly shifted into a line of tourists and very serious Vietnmese senior men dressed in suits. The line quickly turned into single file, no talking, no smiling, and absolutely no hands in pockets or folded in front of you. You had to keep them straight at your side. Nothing but you and the clothes on your back were allowed into the mausoleum. Police at every turn, ususally quite young men as they all have to do two years of service. Wearing an austere green uniform with red emblems. Definitely the 'don't mess with the government of our country' kind of guys.
Walking through this enormous stone structure though was a quick affair. You entered in a single line, one at a time, to be received by a dead silence, and the most reverent crowd. Ho Chi Min's body lays in state in the center below, encased in a large glass tomb. He looks like he's sleeping. Very strange, but the thing that struck me so vibrantly is the absolute pride and respect that each and every Vietnmese person holds for him. I guess Stalin and Mao are the only other heads of state enshrined in such a manner.
The museum about Ho Chi Min was extremely interesting. I wish I had at least 2 days there as his life was incredible. I encourage anyone reading this to find out more about this national hero.
Okay, look at the electrical set up on the street corner. This actually a very tame looking beast comprared to some to the others we saw. Dean told us that they one day, are going to put all wires underground. I can't imagine how they will sort this out. At least they put up these warning signs below the really wrangy ones.
Going between our chosen stops were the train rides. The first one was an overnight ride from Hanoi to Hoi An. When I reserved the first ride to Hoi An, it was a late booking so we ended up in to sleeping berths, with bunks in each one. In Brian and Bonnie's, there was an Australian couple and in Emma and mine there was a newly engaged couple from London. Needless to say, it was an interesting sleep over in a small confined space with complete strangers. Both were extremely nice and we shared bananas and oranges over polite conversations. Fifteen hours on the train is not too bad when you are armed with oreos, ritz crackers, noodle soups and gravol.
Hoi An
We arrived in Hoi An, took a taxi once again, and boy, I must say that each of our suitcases were probably double size of the Vietnamese men. It pained me to see them lift these behemoths and stuff them into the back of the taxis. If you tried to help them, they would shoo you away. Taxi rides were air conditioned and once again, inexpensive. From the train station to Hoi An was about 30 km, and about 15 dollars.
Hoi An is a World Heritage UNESCO site and aptly granted this title. When you arrive, you can already see the difference in the maintance of the city which runs along the South China Sea. It was a spice trading port from the 1st to the 17th century. OLD, old, OLD!! But absolutely stunning. The people of Hoi An have also mastered the art of tourism and know what we all want. SHOES, CLOTHES, FOOD!! Well, I think Brian only wanted the last item.
We stayed in the Thanh Bhan Sien 3 hotel which was ensconced in a dark wood interior of curving staircases and furniture. The beds in both rooms came equipped with mosquito netting which we didn't need at this time of year. It had an open to the sky pool in the middle surrounded by greek goddesses, HUH? But, that night it rained and the girls and decided to go for a dip. After we all finally were brave enough to jump in and swim, I noticed a few too many bugs enjoying the water too. Upon closer inspection, I realized we were enjoying a nighttime swim with 15 cockroaches who had fallen in due to the wind and rain. Ya, we exited quickly.
Back to the streets of Hoi An. First of all, we couldn't resist. We walked into a spa and went SPA CRAZY! Emma, Bonnie and I quickly immersed ourselves in to manicure heaven and Brian went for a full (and yes, decent) body massage. That cost 15 bucks. Foreigners were flocking in booking all sorts of wonderful things, haircuts, foot massages, neck rubs. The hands of Vietnamese spa people are deceiving. Small delicate fingers that PACK A PUNCH!!
Then, while wandering the curving narrow streets, admiring the colourful lanterns, we were drawn into a shoe shop with an enormous selection of shoes! I really could not believe that they could possibly have all of these shoes in stock...anything from very high top sneakers to my faves, the original Clarkes. Well, walk no further my darlings, you have just entered THE SHOE ZONE.
Imagine this, you walk into a place that can make any shoe you like, with any material you like, any colour you like, leather, sparkles, heel, no heel, and any other stitching, or embellishments that you could imagine and all specialized to your foot size. And, at 20 bucks to be made by tomorrow, well what would YOU say? We settled for 2 pairs each, ok, that was Brian negotiating on our part for the family deal. I decided quickly, Bonnie decided sparkly, Brian decided sensibly and Emma had a hard time deciding. She looked at me with desparate eyes and said, This is a dream come true, and my worst nightmare! She loves shoes, but has a difficult time deciding things like what to eat. Well, this is where you impart a time limit.
We didn't do any clothing shops though as that would have been a self destruction time limit. They make anything you want, just as the shoe people. Hmmm...should have bought....
enough is enough of that.
We were picked up the next day by a van with other tourists and taken to the market to shop. Today was the Cooking School day! I was really looking forward to this, but as you can see, my family was not taking it as seriously as me as they handed us each a basket to put our ingredients into.
At this point, I must tell you that the travel bureau in Edmonton warned us not to drink anything but bottled water, fruit juices with no ice and booze, not to eat anything that is unusually prepared. Well, as we are walking through the market, our guide stopped at many stomach turning kiosks.
I could relate to the fruit and vegetable sellars quite nicely, but it was anything biological that made me turn away. Dog, pig, live creatures crying out for saving. I'm not a strong person, I admit. I can eat the food that is placed in nice neat styrofoam containers. You don't see it as an animal that could potentially be a pet. But, seeing it in the Vietnamese markets was difficult for all of us. The markets dispalyed everything right there on the streets. Every kind of fresh spice to baguettes.
I don't think the Board of Health in Canada would pass inspection on any of them, especially when they cut the meat on the ground and often are seen relaxing with their bare feet sitting perniciously close to the ingrediens. Ah well, I can't say that it harmed us at all. We ate everything without problem. The only time we had any problems was when Emma and I drank some questionable water and ended up with some digestive dilemma.
After we got on the boat to the Island Cooking School, Emma reached into her basket. I had a pineapple in mine, Bonnie had a variety of greens, Brian was the noodle and coconut carrier. Emma produced a rather shocking discovery! I don't blame her for pulling it out and freaking out!! This was only meant for the broth, not to eat.
After the market, we got on a boat and headed to an island to learn how to cook Vietnamese food. Anyone can make pasta and hamburgers and pizza, but seriously, Vietnamese cooking is all about the spices and precooking of broth. Heavenly!! Bonnie was the ultimate fried pancake flipper as she could send hers high for a couple of turns before landing into the pan. Even our chef was impressed. Mine of course, ended up half in the flames, but to my amazement, the guide said that he would hire me to work in his restaurant....as a dishwasher....err.

Our guide also took us to a small building on the island in which there was a small
round table in the middle. He started to tell us that this was a sacred table
that was hundreds of years old, and it was supposedly one of two that were made
from a very old dark wood tree which I can't remember the name of. Anyway, we
all listened skeptically as he explained it's unusual powers. If at least four
people placed their hands onto the table lightly and said, turn left, turn left
and so on, speeding up and getting louder, the table would spin. He then
invited 4 of us to try and as humans often do when posed with a challenge,
everyone started looking at their shoes. So, I came forward and then a couple
of others did too. We tried what he said and....ok, i'm not making this up, IT
WORKED!! The table started to spin and the faster you said 'turn left' the
faster it went, nobody was pushing it! After everyone had a chance, the guide
told us that last summer there was a Japanese buisness man who wanted to buy it.
The guide said no, not even for the 50 000 US dollars!
Returning on the river boat, the captian decided he was tired so he put Brian in charge. The throttle was a little screw tied to something else and was controlled by your talented big toe.
Strange things can happen when you are wandering around a foreign country, but perhaps this is the wierdest! We got off of the river boat and walked up a very tiny, narrow alley, only to be standing face to face with a familiar face! It just so happens that another family from Crestwood, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, North America was also travelling in Vietnam. 'Hey, fancy meeting you here' just doesn't cut the surprise here! We had a wonderful fun dinner with the Davis family, Sandy, John, and their 3 daughters Morgan (who is on Bonnie's soccer team, Allie, and Grace.) Turns out, Morgan was well prepared to go to the clothing shops. She was armed with a few designs that she drew for her upcoming Grade 9 grad and had her dress made overnight. Smart Girl!
Once again, back on the train for another sleep over ride. This time, the four of us all had one berth together and we were armed with the essentials--snacks, water, gravol and toilet paper. Strangely, we were surrounded on all sides by non-English speaking people. Germans, French, Polish, and Chinese. I woke up at 7 am and roused the snoozers and learned a valuable lesson, never ask for directions when no one speaks English. I managed to get the same answer from 3 people about if the next stop was Muong Man and they all pleasantly smiled and nodded. So, back to the berth, train slowing down, we panicked to get our luggage into the very narrow hallway and waited for the train to stop. The conductors don't allow for frivolity and you must be ready and get out. So, that's what we did. The heat was striking! Holy cow hot! We walked about 20 metres when I had a strange feeling. I looked up and read the sign thinking that I knew where we were but this was NOT where we were supposed to be! I quickly found and half ENGLISH speaking train employee and showed them my ticket. They didn't even say anything. They grabbed my suitcase and started running back to where we had just gotten off. Of course, the girls and Brian looked a bit confused but I just yelled, RUN!!! We barely made it, but with the help of 3 other men, we managed to stuff our seriously heavy and embarassing suitcases into the closest car. Pretty much at that second, the train started to pull away. For a good hour, I was shunned by my family and stood in the hallway in shame. To add to my disgrace, some overtired British bloke moved into our berth from the crowded seat section and was snoring away. Anyway, I was totally 100% sure when our stop finally came 4 hours later.
Mui Ne
Arriving in Mui Ne was like taking in a huge breath after a strenuous and long activity. The reason is that entering Mui Ne a totally different experience that Hanoi and Hoi An. It's peaceful, the palms sway as if listening to music, the people are slowly moving, and it's basically a resort town for tired and weary backpackers to have a break. In some respects it is amazingly beautiful, but there is a feeling just hiding around the corner. Mui Ne is a main straight street running along the ocean. There is a huge disparity though if you go up one block to where all of the Vietnamese people who work in Mui Ne, live. One block up the hill it becomes what I had known the rural Vietnam to look like. Small huts with many chickens, dogs, and people of all ages, working menial and low paying jobs. I always felt this like it was a shadow following me. But, despite that, everyone was cordial and happy to sell you something!
Our lodging in Mui Ne was a bit of a splurge. At 70.00 a night, I felt we deserved a little fancy shmancy chilling out. The owner, John was from Australia and unbelievably was born in Wales and went to boarding school in Bristol! His wife was Vietnamese and together they ran the Vietnamese Austria House, which started out as a very one star accomodation for 4 dollars a night, but with years of hard work, they turned it into the very comfortable and peaceful place that it is today. We asked if they didn't have room for the letters A and L to spell Australia for the title, but they nonchalantly said No, it's always been Austria. Ok then, we shrugged.
In any
case, we spent 4 luxurious days lounging around with the biggest decision each day wondering where we should have our next meal. The food was amazing! And cheap! And healthy!
We decided after two days of leisure on the beaches and watching kite boarding, we went on a tour. The jeep that picked us up was a US jeep used in the Vietnam war. They are now used to drive tourists out to the dusty sand dune areas with their tough tinny interior and grinding gear shifts. They state inside on the dash, Property of United States. The first place we stopped was called Fairy Springs. I have no idea why it is called this as it is basically a stream trickling through red sand. Two youngish boys were quick to offer us their surperior guiding skills and argued about which one of them saw us first. In the end, they both accompanied us, paying more attention to Bonnie and Emma than actually guiding us anywhere. The only thing they did tell me was to watch out for the snakes in the stream, which we were wading barefoot in. Before we even returned to the street they started negotiating a price for their dear services. Usually I'm a bit of a softy, but I even was a bit stunned when they each wanted 50 000 dong (approx. $2.50). One boy even said, But I'm going to school! I should be paid that! I found out later that many parents will forfeit their kid's education if they can make more money being guides or selling stuff than the parents can. We were warned by John not to give into them because it just gives them more incentive to not go to school.
Then, the jeep kept driving past the fishing villages to the sand dunes. Okay, take 30 degrees, plus a hike to the top of a dune, add some high hot winds and go tobaggoning! It was challenging but well worth the 20 cents we paid to use the sleds. Do you think you go fast?
I'm keeping that a secret so you'll have to try it for yourself one day!
There are many ancestral tombs dotting the landscape, in rice fields and on hills. I asked our guide about these and he explained that they are built because Buddists believe in reincarnation. The ancestors from their past that lived and worked on the land that they now own will one day come back as another person in the family. These lavish tombs are there to help them find their way back and be part of the family again.
The next day we wandered around and Brian had the looney idea to do something that I though I'd never do in Vietnam--rent a motorbike! We did and had a brillant time going up and down the street beeping at people. The man who rented us the bikes, 5 dollars for one hour, said Please fill to 2 litres before returning. We did and the gas station was very strict about how much 2 litres was! It is just a basic pump in front of people's houses.
One person that I must give a people postcard award to is Jung, from Vietnam Austria house. Jung is a calm, spiritual Buddhist. He always smiled, so sincere and worked at the resort. Jung played guitar and apart from an old one, he didn't have or need any possessions. He did have a pearly oyster shell that he showed me though that he kept close to him. On evening, Jung was playing guitar near the beach front, I joined him, then Bonnie joined him, then Steve, a teacher from China joined him, and soon we were all sitting in the dark singing Beatles songs. He always told Bonnie how beautiful she was. I won't argue with that, but I think Jung is beautiful too.
Saigon
Our last stop was Saigon. There are signs around welcoming you to Ho Chi Min City, but for the most part everyone used Saigon. I never could get a straight answer on which was more accepted, but no one seemed to mind either way.
It was a good thing that we didn't land in Saigon first. One needs to build up tolerance, acceptance and fear level before plopping into the centre of this 10 million people city. It is far different than it's contender, Hanoi. It's divided into many districts, and the center one, aptly called District 1 was glitzy, rich and BUSY!!! We were rather astounded at how anything in Vietnam could be more crowded with bikes, buses, and people. But, it was. This is where you would find no safety on sidewalks. When motorized vehicles, which outnumbered foot traffic, ran out of room on the road, they took to the sidewalk! EEEK!
It is truly a beautiful urban monster though. I couldn't figure out how hundred year old trees could survive in the cement wildreness. But they grew very tall and stately.
Our hotel was elegant! And, oh my, the breakfasts to die for, if you like fish. Actually they had so many interesting breakfasts foods, that I tried to make the girls eat at least one different thing a day. Mostly I was rewarded with and eeeuuu or a NO WAY!
We did some foot exploration to a CRAZY mashed pashed to the ceiling market called Ben Than. It's famous and draws in all the crowds but is NOT for the faint of heart or weak of spirit. This place is HUGE!!! Every possible space that could be filled is beyond capacity. It is about the size of a professional soccer pitch, and contains rows and columns in a grid like fashion. That seems reasonable, yes? Expect that there are is a mere 1 metre approximately between the row and columns and their wares are piled to the rafters! Each booth was approximately 2 square metres each. I immediately grabbed the girls and said Don't let go!
We made it through, looking to buy another carry on bag, for obvious reasons. Dean had told us before in Hanoi that you NEVER pay the full price that they ask. Offer half and negotiate up. Or, what we found worked best, was walking away. They would yell down at you the new price and the farther you walked, the more the price dropped. Somehow, I don't think doing this in Safeway in Edmonton would work.
Our last day in Vietnam was spent with our guide Hung, pronounced Home. I think he made that up actually. In any case, he was a splendid, knowledgable young chap and we all got into the van and drove through the lush green rice fields to Mekong Delta. This is a giant, 39 000 km squared area of distributaries from the Mekong River. This river is the second largest one in the world, with the Nile being first. Depending on how much water comes through depends on how people live. It floods in rainy season and rises substantially. In January, it's dry season. The land surrounding it is so fertile, lush and green.
We boarded yet another river boat, equipped with an eye on the hull. In fact every boat had eyes. Home told us that earlier on, there were crocodiles in this area and the eyes were meant to scare them off. There are no crocodiles now, but they still keep the eyes because it seems that people in Vietnam are rather superstitious. In fact, in every shop and restaurant and home, there is a little display on the floor with statues of the lucky gods sitting comfortably smiling away. They should be happy because they are spoiled rotten! Many times a day, the owner will give them gifts. It was not unusual for them to have delicious fruit, tea trays, incense, money and cigarettes left for them. As well, these deity displays were not just randomly placed. Each had to be feng shui'd by a special buddhist foreseer. I actually enjoyed these shrines. I think I'll put one in my house when I get home, but I prohibit the cigarettes as a gift to the gods. They don't look very fit as it is.
Our boat journey through the Mekong Delta was as I always saw Vietnam in my head. The river was so wide and at 20 metres deep, contained many creatures. One interesting thing that floated by occasionally was a giant plant. At first I thought they were broken trees just moving along, but Home said that they are actually water plants that act as filtration for the river. They tend to grow in the most polluted parts of the river, but I didn't see that many.
The island that we jumped onto, literally jumped because the boats don't actually dock, contained a coconut candy factory, and honey bee colony. The candy is made by pressing the oil from the coconut, adding sugar and milk, heating it into a fondant, adding an assortment of crunchy bits and then individually wrapping each slice in rice paper. Very labour intensive and very tasty! The bees were scary! Actually, Home went right up to the colony and pulled out a tray of bees. I went over prudently and he said, Don't worry, they are hand tamed. Right.
But actually, they landed on us and inspected us for nectar and flew off. Bonnie would have NONE OF IT!! She stayed far away. Then we had jasmine tea with honey and pollen. It was delicious. In this little stop, they had jars and jars of pickled....snakes and scorpions. It reminded me of grade 12 biology but a thousand times worse! I asked Home was they were for and he said, Well of course, we drink this to improve our sexual performance. I think I'd rather live a life of celibacy.
Off to the next spot, we jumped into yet another boat. This time, we were moving through the canals on the island. They built these canals hundreds of years ago as transportation to the river and around and also for irrigation. The islands are home to many orchards live guava, durian and grapefruit. They also have these little things that you peel and it's like an eyeball inside, longans. The girls had fun playing with these.
Along the canal, there were hundreds of mudskippers. I have only ever seen these in pet shops. Home was dumbfounded that we would acutally pay to keep these as pets.
We took a carriage ride through a village. It was lunch time for the school kids and they were all doubled up on bicycles with their uniforms going home for lunch. Beautiful children.
Then, Home took us up into a treetop deck and we were served lunch. Ok, up to this point, I've been pretty adventurous and tried the new dishes. But, this one pushed us RIGHT out of our comfort eating zone. A fish with curled scales, HUGE gooey eyed king prawns staring up, an unusual porky dish (or was it pork?) and thankfully, the always served plate of fruit. We were the only ones in the tree top staring at this lunch. Even Home took off to eat with the other guides. What did he know that we didn't? We ordered 25 cent cokes and thankfully, as if a lucky Buddah deities were watching over us, a smallish skinny mommy dog appeared. With her polite manners, we couldn't resist filling her tummy full of delicious fish and prawns. We saw her later sleeping lazily sprawled out in a digestive state.
That was a great day and then we were back at our hotel. We decided that we all needed some familiar food, so we headed off through the streets in search of pizza. It was a great little spot and our server was knock down hilarious. With his big black framed glasses, he was cracking jokes that made us burst into laughter. The funniest thing was though, that he was not doing this on purpose. It was his limited English and I have to give him credit for trying so hard. After we finished our pizza, only a crumb was left on the pan. Brian said, Can we get this to go? He thought for a second and said, Oh yes, this is irony' and he walked away. Also, they have these posters everywhere showing what to do in case of a fire. The first picture is of an explosion and you can see the next 3 steps. We asked him where the switch was to pull the fire alarm just for fun, and he said, BOOM!!! After that, 2, 3, 4 not available. Sensible boy!


Just a quick note about the schools. They are government run, and any building that is yellow slathered in red propaganda banners is a governement building. All of the schools were built in a U shape, with long skinny classrooms containing rows and rows of chairs and a chalkboard. Windows run down both sides. There is a tarmac play area in front and then the whole thing is surrounded by a very high gate.
One thing I did realize quickly is that the Vietnam government is tolerant of Westerners, but they do not want Vietnamese people to be influenced in Western culture and thought. Thus, the blocking of many communication sites, like this one and news sites. At one train station, we were talking with a grandfather and his granddaughter. She was about 3 years old. Emma and Bonnie were drawing pictures for her and suddenly the green uniform appeared and peaked over their heads to see what information was being propagated. He was amused when he saw that we were drawing dogs.
Another time at the beach in Mui Ne, I went to down to the water to check on Emma and Bonnie, I found them involved in a game of soccer with about 7 young Vietnamese boys who were absolutly the charming! And I joined the game too, but noticed out of the corner of my eye, the green uniform standing not too far away. He was entirely amused by the fact that this game was going on and we were all high fiving each other. I found out later, that the gangs of young boys, who are innocent enough, are not allowed to go to the beach and have boyish fun, for fear of Western influence and also so as to not bother the tourists. I think that was the most fun I had! But, they eventually got shooed away by John, the owner and we gave them the ball.
The children mostly go to school, six days a week. Every child in Vietnam wears the same uniform. Crisp white shirt, blue slacks or skirt and a ubiquitous red scarf. They are lovely in their uniforms and very happy! The problem, Home told me, is that it is difficult to get teachers. He said that he was a teacher once which made me raise my eyebrows because he couldn't have been more than 30 years old. I asked him why he changed professions and he said the pay wasn't very good for the six day per week schedule. How much did he make? Well, a good teacher can make 100 US dollars per month.
Friends are Food
Well, no blog can be complete without me commenting on all of the furry four and two footed friends that I meet. There were the cutest dogs, and their puppies. Mostly these dogs all look the same. But some have long fur. There were the 3 cats we saw. This troubled me because cats are supposedly bad luck in Vietnam. Thus, their obvious absence and that they are supposedly tasty to some. We did meet a cute family of cats although they were housed in a glass cabinet display case. I was told though, that they got to play later after everyone ate because they try to steal your food. Well, no wonder! They were underfed by our fat cat standards. All the same, they were happy and playing in their curios case.
Then there were BE and BA. Two totally sweet puppies that caused us to visit many times in Mui Ne. Dogs are considered lucky, unless you are hungry. Home told us that it's a wise thing to keep your dog inside during Tet which was approaching. This is the lunar new year and a very big celebration! In any case, dog is a tasty dish during Tet. Also, dogs roam freely and are very traffic savvy!
Then there were the abundance of lizards. At night, the geckos would come out and lay claim to various lit up signs around to feast on the multitude of insects attracted to the signs. They were fun to watch because they were quite territorial.
Dean couldn't figure out why we would spend so much money to keep pets. It seemed like such a silly thing to do, when you mostly just keep them for eating anyway! Plus it was expensive. Most dogs just ate rice, milk and pork. Cats, if they were lucky got a few scraps.
Then there was the lizard tank. At first I tried to hide the tank from Emma by clandenstinely standing in front of it. She, of course, it too swift for that and quickly shoved me aside. In the tank were the most beautiful coloured reptiles I'd ever seen. These sadly though, were just awaiting Fryday. I asked the seller if he ate them, and he said, NO! The Russians eat those, and everything else! Interestingly, vacationing Russians that flock to surf and sun in Mui Ne, just like Canadians charge of to warm places like Mexico.
Then there were the brightly coloured proud roosters under wire cages everywhere. Home told us that since Tet, the lunar new year, was soon, people started to raise these roosters for cock fighting. You are allowed to gamble during Tet so there are many challenges between roosters.
Then there are the multitude of chickens and ducks. They trot around scratching for snacks everywhere. But, here today gone tomorrow is the way of life. Sadly, Brian wouldn't let us adopt the 20 or so more ring worm infested mangy mutts that we met. Probably a good idea on his part.
Communal Comb and 90 Million People for Dinner
Think about the people you'd share a comb with. Your child, your family members, your gym partner in junior high? Well, in most restaurants we went into, the bathroom was equipped with a comb. Often it had tangles of long black hair in it. It sat there on the ledge above the sink innocuously enough. Many people would have thrown it away in disgust, but yet, it remained as much a part of the public bathroom as the bum sprayer and hand dryer. This to me says it all about Vietnamese people. They share freely, demonstrate superiority in their kindness and gentle manners, without judging, without worry. A good friend back home in Edmonton says, They make babies cute so we will take care of them. I feel like that about Vietnamese people. They are beautiful in their faces and in their hearts and I want to take care of them.
I'll be having a really big dinner party when I return to Canada. I'm inviting all of Vietnam to come so that I can reciprocate their lovely hospitality. Does anyone have any extra fold up chairs that I can borrow?
Until next time,
beth